2.9 Some Problems with Introductory Paragraphs

The introduction, which defines the main argument, should, as we have seen, move from a mention of the general subject, through a narrowing of the focus, to a clear and energetic thesis statement. This sounds simple enough, but there are a few common problems which you should take care to avoid.

1. Do not make the thesis too abrupt and awkward. Take the time to go through the steps outlined above. If you are doing that properly, then the introduction should be a fairly substantial paragraph of between 150 and 200 words (at least). Never offer as an introduction a one-sentence paragraph something like the following: "In this essay I am going to discuss how Odysseus is a fascinating character." That is much too abrupt and awkward. As a general rule, keep the expressions I or this essay out of your style.

2. Do not stuff the introduction with irrelevant detail (e.g., about the biography of the writer or the historical details of the book). Keep directing the reader to the particular focus and thesis you wish to concentrate upon. Stay directly on the contents of the discussion you want to present.

3. Make sure that the argument is clearly established by the end of the introduction. By that point the reader must be able to answer the following two questions accurately: What is this argument focusing on? What specific opinion about that does the arguer wish me to believe by the end?

4. Do not make the thesis a promissory note which lacks an argumentative edge: for example, don't make the thesis statement something like the following: "This essay will discuss the women in Hamlet's life." Establish clearly the opinion about the women in Hamlet's life which you wish the reader to accept as persuasive. "This essay seeks to show how Hamlet's attitude to women, especially his verbal and physical aggression against them, lies at the heart of what is rotten in Denmark."